Clinton Portis as "Coach Janky Spanky"Allow me to preface this paragraph by warning that if you are not a 'Skins fam (or if you have any affection for the Cowboys), you must remove my page from your favorites list at this time and refrain from ever visiting this site again.
Clinton Portis has made quite a splash throughout the season by demonstrating his subtle improv talents during the Redskins press conferences each Thursday. Southeast Jerome, Dollah Bill, Ma Sweets, Sheriff Gonna Getcha... all characters in Portis’ growing repertoire. But the most recent addition to his catalogue - Coach Spanky Janky - is a deeply felt, layered examination of the uncharted, and often mysterious emotions of a scorned defensive coordinator. Maybe that is a strech, but he is f-ing hilarious in this role. While drawing up unorthodox "blitz packages", Coach Spanky Janky complains that he was never considered for Gregg Williams' job even though he took the Boy's and Girl's Club to the Super Bowl. A reporter asks a question about Portis' mom - and I swear this is true- he blows his whistle and says "Don't ask about Portis' mom, she's bad. She's tough. She's a tough one." He proceeds to illustrate what happened in Philly by drawing an "O" on his clipboard and giving the page a right hook. Not sure about you, but the tension is palpable in anticipation of this Thursday's press conference at Redskin Park.
Check out the video here: http://www.redskins.com/news/multimedia.jsp (go to view channels, and then "press conferences")
This is not an opinion, this is a fact. I hate Solitaire with the passion. Please, give me frogger, an inflamed hemorrhoid, rusty thumb tack in my taint, anything; hell, I'd even rather do WORK than play Solitaire. Why do people continue to play this game??? Seriously, it's just not fun. What's the point? Who cares how many cards you can make disappear? You have to drag and drop these dainty cards on top of each other... who's the dipshit that thought up of this game? 99% of the people who play Solitaire only do so because they don't know how to do anything else on their computers. They might as well have bought a $1600 deck of cards. The next person I see playing Solitaire on my laptop when I come home is the person whose asshole I'm going to wear around my ankle after I put my foot up their ass (you know who you are). It's just pure shit.
At any given time, I can walk through my office and catch at least one work-deprived idiot playing Solitaire. These are also the same employees that run toward the elevator while I laugh and press the "CLOSE DOOR" button. What is everyone's fascination with this game? Throw it away. It's bullshit. Want to make the cards disappear faster? Here's a hint: click on the 'x' in the corner, asshole.
By the way, I have never learned to play Solitaire. Maybe I would like it if I tried, but I doubt it.
Clinton Portis has made quite a splash throughout the season by demonstrating his subtle improv talents during the Redskins press conferences each Thursday. Southeast Jerome, Dollah Bill, Ma Sweets, Sheriff Gonna Getcha... all characters in Portis’ growing repertoire. But the most recent addition to his catalogue - Coach Spanky Janky - is a deeply felt, layered examination of the uncharted, and often mysterious emotions of a scorned defensive coordinator. Maybe that is a strech, but he is f-ing hilarious in this role. While drawing up unorthodox "blitz packages", Coach Spanky Janky complains that he was never considered for Gregg Williams' job even though he took the Boy's and Girl's Club to the Super Bowl. A reporter asks a question about Portis' mom - and I swear this is true- he blows his whistle and says "Don't ask about Portis' mom, she's bad. She's tough. She's a tough one." He proceeds to illustrate what happened in Philly by drawing an "O" on his clipboard and giving the page a right hook. Not sure about you, but the tension is palpable in anticipation of this Thursday's press conference at Redskin Park.
Check out the video here: http://www.redskins.com/news/multimedia.jsp (go to view channels, and then "press conferences")
Solitaire is for losers.
This is not an opinion, this is a fact. I hate Solitaire with the passion. Please, give me frogger, an inflamed hemorrhoid, rusty thumb tack in my taint, anything; hell, I'd even rather do WORK than play Solitaire. Why do people continue to play this game??? Seriously, it's just not fun. What's the point? Who cares how many cards you can make disappear? You have to drag and drop these dainty cards on top of each other... who's the dipshit that thought up of this game? 99% of the people who play Solitaire only do so because they don't know how to do anything else on their computers. They might as well have bought a $1600 deck of cards. The next person I see playing Solitaire on my laptop when I come home is the person whose asshole I'm going to wear around my ankle after I put my foot up their ass (you know who you are). It's just pure shit.At any given time, I can walk through my office and catch at least one work-deprived idiot playing Solitaire. These are also the same employees that run toward the elevator while I laugh and press the "CLOSE DOOR" button. What is everyone's fascination with this game? Throw it away. It's bullshit. Want to make the cards disappear faster? Here's a hint: click on the 'x' in the corner, asshole.
By the way, I have never learned to play Solitaire. Maybe I would like it if I tried, but I doubt it.
10 comments:
Dude, if you are looking to slack off then you GOT to stay out of those moguls. Think big fast turns.
is good to see you back
I agree with you. Frey does suck worse than Solitaire. And that's saying a lot.
As for slacking off, does it have to be on skis?
solitaire sucks --
cool people play minesweeper
I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! » » »
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