Think of how many movie roles and TV guest star slots there are for thirty-three-year-old women. Now imagine what it would be like if 97% of those available roles went to Jennifer Aniston (although in the week leading up to the premiere of Derailed, it kind of seems like they already do). If that were the case, we'd all have to be brainwashed to keep watching... yet millions still tune in to each visual holocaust Dakota appears in.
Fanning is creepy in spades, but people never seem to get sick of her. With each appearance, impressionable children are drawn to the dark side. Fanning is the same size as a real kid, but her poise is eerily grown-up. Have you ever seen her on a talk show? Along with an occasional (rehearsed) story about her jacked-up teeth, she'll chat about her next "project", or how great it was to work with this actor or that director. If you close your eyes, it's easy to imagine that you're listening to some old showbiz hag rather than an innocent third-grader. I managed to catch the little devil on Regis not long ago; girlfriend's got bigger bags under her eyes than Yasmine Bleeth after a cocaine binge. She probably drinks coffee, and it is only a matter of time before she is photographed wearing massive sunglasses and chain-smoking poolside at the Chateau Marmot.
Further evidence of Dakota Fanning’s wickedness lies in her ability to destroy the reputations of actors who were previously respected by men as universally awesome.
Cases in Point:
#1) Robert DeNiro
DeNiro used to be a man’s man. He not only portrayed kick-ass characters like Jake LaMotta and Don Corleone, but he embodied a persona that was both mysterious and at the same time tough as nails. His default expression was a determined scowl, like he was prepared to introduce you to the business end of his shoe if you looked at him wrong. Then he starred alongside Fanning in Hide and Seek - now he is a full blown pussy and corporate shill.
#2) Kris Kristofferson
Somewhere between becoming a Rhodes Scholar, penning "Bobby McGee", performing with The Highwaymen, and slaying boatloads of vampires alongside Wesley Snipes in Blade, Kristofferson had firmly established himself as a man among boys. With his grizzled beard and growling voice he demonstrated the rugged manliness of a lumber jack, with a supreme intellect to boot. What hath become of the brutish Kristofferson? Well, he hammered the last nail in the coffin carrying his tough-guy image by joining little Dakota in Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story. He used to eat rocks and shit gun powder, now he’s nothing but a minion left in the wake of Fanning’s assault on real men.
#3) Tom Cruise
Sike…He’s always been a pussy.
With the help of Lucifer, she'll never age - like Jonathan Lipnicki after Jerry Maguire. That movie was out eight years ago and he still looks like a he could do a Life cereal commercial. Or maybe Fanning's natural hormones will turn her into a toothsome young thing, and transition her from Cat in the Hat pigtailed annoyance to low-rise jeans and crop toped media mogul Hilary Duff-level annoyance. Either way, the outlook is grim.
I know what you are thinking – “But Terry, she is so cute and just a child and therefore should be beyond reproach!!” For those detractors I have but one response:
74 comments:
Damn. Never knew. Run, run away.
HELLO TERRY..NICE TO COME IN CONTACT WITH YOU ONCE AGAIN. GREETINGS. WE ARE FROM MARS. BACK TO INVADE YOUR EVIL PLANET EARTH. I HATE YOUR BLOG. I LOVE DAKOTA FANNING AND TOM CRUISE. YOU BETTER BELIEVE. I LIKE RED PONYS. (LIKE THE PICTURE BLOW) I HAVE BEEN STARING AT THAT PHOTOGRAPH FOR 5 YEARS AND 51 HOURS 1 MINUTE AND 34 SECONDS. AND 6 MILLISECONDS. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. YOU HAVE MAJOR MILK PROBLEMS, GAS GAS GAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK YOU SMELL, AND SO DOES YOUR BLOG.
SINCERLY,
ANONOMYS.
I think this whole thing is stupid. This is only a 11 yr old girl who can act better than you ever wish you could. I like her and not likeing her is one thing but calling a 11 yr old girl with talent you will never have the anticrist . You must be the one with the problem deal with it and get helpA.S.A.P.
On the other hand there may not ever be a cure fore anyone as sick as you Terry . So just get a life if you can.
I just found out there is no cure fore your disability sorry.
I have a little nine year old girl that looks like Dakota on Upton Girls but with Red hair. She is a brown belt in a martial arts school I am owner and master instructer of. Evryone thinks she is cute and loves her.
I saw you sort of never know where to stop putting down Hillary Duff too. I realy tihnk it is time for you to look into getting help know.
I just know where you are comming frome. You see very talented acters like Dakota Fanning, and Hilary Duff. Then feall bad because they are so awsome you will never even touch them . Or come close to it.
If you really want a EASY TARGET TO GO AFTER TRY THE OLSAN TWINS
I want to thank you on my coment about my English. But still think you have a seriouse problen picking on a talented child actress le Dakota ,and Hillary anyway how . As fare as war of the world goes. Get real any young boy or girl that are preeteens would freak out over that or less . I even think grown adults would freak out at that. I mean you are a preeteen teenager or adult , and aliens are about to kill you anyone would be running around like a basket case with things less than that. So I think all this should juust stop.
I have been doing a lot of work with young children outside my martail arts school, Head Coaching soccer teaching work at my church and stuff, and have seen some pretty tough boys ,and girls get emotional over things much less than that .Ihave another daughter that looks like Sarah Baker on cheaper by the dosen , and pretty tough following in my footsteps atheletic wise joking around and liked . Even though I preach doing your best ,and having fun comes first too all the children I work with ,and go beyond what I started for my two. She lost a championchip of a big tournament , and even though she is ten and older . She got upset over it children are like that even tougher ones like she is . I have even sen adults and teenagers get emotional over things a lot less than things like on war of the worlds . Rachels brother was even out of it he wanted to go with the military every chance he did ,and did end up going. To me that is just another way of being scared about the outcome but do not blame him for that either if that situeation came up ,and I saw it.
I have been doing a lot of work with young children outside my martail arts school, Head Coaching soccer teaching work at my church and stuff, and have seen some pretty tough boys ,and girls get emotional over things much less than that .Ihave another daughter that looks like Sarah Baker on cheaper by the dosen , and pretty tough following in my footsteps atheletic wise joking around and liked . Even though I preach doing your best ,and having fun comes first too all the children I work with ,and go beyond what I started for my two. She lost a championchip of a big tournament , and even though she is ten and older . She got upset over it children are like that even tougher ones like she is . I have even sen adults and teenagers get emotional over things a lot less than things like on war of the worlds . Rachels brother was even out of it he wanted to go with the military every chance he did ,and did end up going. To me that is just another way of being scared about the outcome but do not blame him for that either if that situeation came up ,and I saw it.
Man you guys have a problem your just as bad as the people who say she had plastic surgery or want to have sex with her. I hear her dad was a former major league baseball picher maybe both of you groups need him to slam your heads with baseballs
I was a pretty good Catcher in little league baseball. But that would not be good because I would let it hit your head.
Something is seriously wrong when you can call
someone as sweet as Dakota
Fanning the anti christ
maybe it,s your kids or you who are the the anti christ leave poor Dakota Fanning alone
I think some people are jelouuse . They find a awsome child with talent like Dakota Fanning or Alyson Stoner , and just put them down because they know they can never even think of being like them. I think in a way that is sad and they should just stop the bashing and get a life if they can.
Hilarious! C’mon…she is totally creepy!
I still see we have some people with seriouse problems here . Including Terry who made this site . All I know is anyone being attached byALiens or anyone else would be going nuts . I am a fourth degree black belt in karate , and have a daughter who looks like Alyson Stoner and a little tomboy like her good at sports and stuff. But you'r saying it was she was creepy because she got emotional like that when Aliens took over the world. Come on when your life or your worlds existance is being taken over by something stronger than you your saying you freak out when most people would. YOu must not be human then because I already know even taugh people like Molly and I would try to be tough and protect our own but part of us would be so scared wed go nuts you have to just to be human. So I gues you guys are not human then.
I can't watch her. I can't. I can't read interviews that quote her. She's an awful, awful, wise-beyond-her-years caricature of a seasoned (see: wizened, cocaine-addled) Hollywood celeb. And, of course, she gets post-time on every talk show. What's better fodder for some vapid, coiffed jackass reading questions off a cue-card than some 60-year old in a 12-year old body talking about her ould Irish home, and the visually stunning work of Frank Stella? Fanning's favourite movie is Manhattan, and she says she identifies "a lot" with Bella Abzug. Of course, she's always been interested in the post-War feminist movement, and her professor - she's reading a lot of Woolf now - is encouraging her to embrace Heidegger.
Yes, she creeps the hell out of me!
YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK GET A LIFE A WEB SITE TOTALY DEDICATED TO HATEING DAKOTA FANNING YOU TALENTLESS NOBODYS I LOVE HER SHES AN EXCELENT ACTRESS AND A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION SHE HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE I EVER SEEN I THINK YOUR WEB SITE REFLECTS YOUR OWN PESONAL INTRESTS YOU SAD NOBODYS SHULD GET LIVES AND LIVE THEM LOSERS
I don't get it there are so many good young actress's like Dakota Fanning , and Alyson Stoner . But people hate them , and say wrong things about them . I think you all have a seriouse problem , and know a good doctor for your illness but report says there is no cure sorry losers .
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Dakota Fanning, or rather, Hannah Fanning, is the most annoying little girl in the world.... she should blow up in a firey pit of lava... O-o not to be too violent...
Well I guese there will never be a cure fore you nonehuman want to be's out there . I just want you to know just because a child gets stressed out or upset doesn't mean there freaky or anything like that . Even tough girls like tomboys get upset sometimes , and if they saw aliens taking over there home or people hurting there family or loved one's they would be tough but part of them would be freaked out . That doesn't mean they'r no longer a tough tomboy anymore it just proves that they'r normale like they should be . Even with what i've done working with children joking around , and stuff . The tomboy Molly has bad days , and I expect to have her have a bad soccer game or lose 3-0 in sparing in a karate tournament even as my little girl on that path close to what I started . I won't be upset i'll just preach my trademark speach to her haaving fun , and ding your best is most important . Most likely she'll always be a little girl tomboy on that path close to what I started so most likely during the next karate tournament gymnastics meet soccer game or something like that she'll make up fore that .She even did lose in a karate tournament sparing 3-0 in the first round because someone took a cheep shot a few times , and got away with it . two of the points where definatly elligal becuse how in sparing there's light face contact if any . Two of the points she was hit in the face so hard her mouth peace flew out . She was a little upset because she knew she could have had a chance without those cheap shots . I give her credit because she bowed out knowing she lost like that , and when I walked over to the head judges with another instructer , and her twin sister who looks like Donna on unacompanied minors she was upset but followed us , and said it was o.k. . I gie her a lot of credit fore losing like that , and in my book made her the winner .
I knew she was evil but I had no idea she was the anti-Christ. This made my day : )
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