Ghostface - "The Wonderful World of Wallabees"

Ghostface (a.k.a. Ironman, a.k.a. Tony Starks, a.k.a. the Wally Champ, a.k.a. Pretty toney, ni Dennis Coles) is rap's voice of desperation. Born Dennis Coles, he was raised like a rumble fish on the streets of Staten Island, where an alias like Ghostface Killah isn't just for the stage, it's protection from the law, the gangsters, and Mom. It's a name that withdraws young Dennis Coles from the emotional chaos of growing up poor. You can hear that poverty scarred him, but he's a stronger man for it. He spits lyrics that sound desperate. He might be wailing, but he regrets the fact that he's going to have to kill you with the punch-line of his rhyme. He's not afraid to be seen crying at your funeral either. It's not personal. It's just the hot soul samples and hard beats and the fact that whatever you've seen in your life, Ghost has seen it twice. He's a ghost, he'll be here when you're dust. His collaborations with Raekwon, and the dozens of Wu-Tang Clan gems aside, Ghostface made classic solo albums in an industry that turns its back on anyone who boasts more than two albums before they're shot dead. In 2005, Ghostface Killah is older and better, and after (count 'em) four previous solo records, his fifth is a compilation of some of the more memorable masterpieces of an unfailing discography. "The Wonderful World of Wallabees" has a varied collection of the hardcore, bare-knuckled tracks such as "Daytona 500" and the stellar "Apollo Kids" to the quintessential Ghostface soul tracks "All That I Got Is You", and "Child's Play". Don't try to pretend you didn't get cher grind on in your college living room while listening to "Cherchez la Ghost" from Supreme Clientele. Watch him blow your face off with the graffiti-soul of "Malcolm", or the insane classic RZA-produced "poisonous Darts", and see if you can dispute that Ghost is the strongest of the clan.

Ghostface - "The Wonderful World of Wallabees"
Part 2 of "The Wonderful World"

Ghostface's claustrophobic rhymes have produced some of the most confusing verses to emerge from the hip-hop scene. Here are 10 that have left me dumbfounded:

10) "All rise meet the preacher this pro dueler been diagnosed
Diabetic kleptic i'm your host
Rock the vanilla suede British
Staten Island mall menace"

9) "You 14 karat gold slum computer wizard"

8) "Aiyyo, this rappin's like Ziti,
facin me real TV
Crash at high-speeds, strawberry, kiwi"

7) "Flower grabbed Tiff his man with the sideburns
hat fell off
We herd his wigworms"

6) "Scientific, my hand kissed it
Robotic let's think optimistic
You probably missed it, watch me dolly dick it
Scotty watty cop it to me, big microphone hippie"

5) "The fortune teller Tucker sleepin gas umbrella
A war where they're gunnin in the back of Armanbella"

4) "Gasoline CREAM wrapped in hospital bands
Model vans, Michael Davis, it's me against housin
Extraordinary pro-black, sold God creations to control thousands
Catch me at the flicks, Apollo rap Fredick Douglas"

3) "Smashed a fresh ball of wax ceasar
Flashy penthouse that overlooks the vista
Wally Moc' have tie, swimmin trunks
Three chunks of ice sit in Johnny Walker for advice"

2) "Wax janitor, black Jack Mulligan from Canada
Slam dance, tarantula style, youse a fan of the
Monopoly king, Slavic poetry
Carnegie Hall's off the hook, let's push through the armory"

1) "Aiyyo spiced out Calvin Coolidge, loungin with 7 duelers
The Great Adventures of Slick, lickin with 6 rugers
Rock those, big boy Bulotti's out of Woodridge
Porch for the biggest beer, season giraffe ribs
Rotissiere ropes, hickory scented mint scented glaze
Perfected find truth within self, let's smoke
All hail to my hands, 50 thou' appraisal
Dirty nose with the nasal drip, click flipped on fam
Dancin with Blanch and them bitches, flickin goose pictures
Kick down the ace of spades, snatch Jack riches
Olsive compulsive lies flies with my name on it
Dick made the cover now count, how many veins on it
Scooby snack jurassic plastic gas booby trap"

Seriously... wtf?